Feelings Thought Long Gone
by ColtLady
Summary: Carter asks Nate for help with Serena. Will helping Carter cause some feelings Nate thought long gone?
1. The Deal

Burning bridges that's what Nate Archibald did best. Blair, Chuck, his grandfather, Serena, Jenny. Pretty much everyone who had ever mattered to him had left him behind for bigger and better things. He lit a joint and laid back to stare at the ceiling. "Class Whore" had been his label and it was probably true. Who else had been with a Brooklyn Barista, a fledgling fashion designer, the It Girl, an adulteress Duchess, and Queen B? Chuck might have paid for whores but Nate was the one doing the whoring.

Perhaps it was time to try being alone for awhile. No more girls, no more hook ups, just Nate. The thought was appealing albeit a little Dan Humphrey for his taste. His phone rang and Nate grabbed it from the nightstand.

"Nathaniel." Chuck's familiar drawl came through the receiver. "Blair and I request your presence at a small dinner party tonight." Nate could hear Blair chiding him in the background. Something about mocking her party or shucking her panties.

"Sure, why not." Nate replied. He had nothing else going on except for an NCIS marathon and another joint or two. Why not join the UES's most mysterious new couple for a little dinner.

"Wonderful. My suite at seven. The dress is semi-formal." Chuck said in a robotic tone that Nate was sure was making Blair absolutely batty. "Waldorf, I am simply doing as you requested. Inviting Nathaniel to dinner if you wanted it done in a certain way you should have specified. You know I love to follow your orders." Nate knew that tone and it was his signal that it was time to hang up.

"I'll see you at seven dude." He said quickly before snapping the phone shut. He finished his joint and lit another. He'd probably need a good buzz to make it through this dinner.

_Later_

"Nathaniel, please do come in." Chuck said opening the door to his suite. "Refreshments are in the usual place. Blair's getting ready still. Apparently I'm somewhat distracting." Chuck smirked and Nate grabbed a beer from the fridge.

"So, things are good?" He asked.

"Blissful." Chuck replied a knock at the door interrupted his sentence and he went to open it. "I believe the rest of the guests have arrived."

"Who else is coming?" Nate asked taking a long drink of his beer.

"My siblings and their significant others." Chuck replied opening the door. Eric and Jonathan entered debating some poem or another, a debate that was definitely going over Nate's head. "Where's my dear sister?" Chuck asked. "If she's late my darling girlfriend will have her head."

"She's coming. Had to find the right shoes." Eric replied his mouth half full of the crab cakes that Blair had laid out for appetizers.

"Is she bringing someone?" Blair asked emerging from the bedroom looking impeccable. "Not Cabbage Patch I hope. We don't need anymore high school reruns. Hi Nate."

"Blair." He replied kissing her on the cheek. "Is Serena dating someone?"

"Well..." Eric started looking at his feet.

"I thought she went to Europe for the summer, don't tell me she got fake married again." Chuck interrupted rolling his eyes and wondering if he should call one of his lawyers.

"She went to Fiji actually and came home with someone but..." Eric trailed off again.

"She brought home a native!" Blair exclaimed in disgust.

"No, it's um..." They were interrupted by a knock on the door and Chuck moved to answer it. As the door opened a streak of blonde hair flew towards Chuck.

"Hi sis." He said wrapping his arms around her. "How was Fiji?"

"Eric! Natie! B!" Serena shrieked pulling them each into a tight hug. Chuck was about to close the door when a hand stopped it and a figure emerged in the doorway.

"Why the hell are you here?" Chuck asked as his eyes narrowed to slits. "I guess I have some people to fire for letting you in the building."

"No worries Bass Serena let me in." Carter said patting Chuck's shoulder. Chuck's eyes narrowed at the unwelcome contact.

"Chuck play nice." Serena warned with a warm smile as she leaned in and kissed Carter's cheek. Blair and Nate shared a stunned look and Eric shrugged at Chuck.

"Well, I guess your standards could only get lower after dating Humphrey." Chuck said closing the door.

"You mean our future step-brother?" Serena asked knowing how much it irked Chuck to be reminded of the soon-to-be additions to their little family.

"S, please we're going to eat soon." Blair said making a disgusted face. Serena laughed and Carter wrapped an arm around her shoulders. The others shared surprised glances at the gesture but decided it was best to move on to safer topics. Like Nate's European vacation and Chuck's new business proposal.

_Later after dinner_

Nate was standing on Chuck's balcony breathing in the night air when he felt someone come up behind. Expecting his best friend he turned smiling. The smile quickly faded into a frown when he realized who it was.

"Carter." He said coldly as the older boy moved to stand next to him.

"Archibald." He replied. "I have a favor to ask."

"And why would I want to do you a favor?" Nate replied icily.

"Because there are benefits to be had." Carter took a slow sip of his whiskey before continuing. "This thing with Serena is becoming something all together new to me and I need a little advice. Wooing I can do, it's the relationship part that I struggle with."

"What's in it for me?" Nate asked wondering what Carter had to offer that would even make him consider helping him with Serena.

"William Vanderbilt is a close, personal friend of my father. Rumor has it grandpa is less then pleased with little Nathaniel since he ran away to Europe with a boho barista. Perhaps I could put in a good word, arrange a chance encounter." Carter lifted the glass to his lips as Nate contemplated his offer.

"So, I give you some inside information on Serena and you help me get back into the good graces of the Vanderbilts?" Nate clarified. "What makes you think I want anything to do with them?"

Carter smirked. "Nathaniel, we both know how this world works. Money talks to be sure but nothing is more important then pedigree. Being a Vanderbilt and an Archibald is impressive but it can only get you so far if you're on the outs with the family patriarch. A Vanderbilt on the outs is like new money at a blue blood society party. Everyone smiles to your face but they have a lot to talk about behind your back."

Nate couldn't help but agree with Carter's assessment. He was right being a Vanderbilt meant nothing if the family chose to ignore you. "Alright say I agree to help you. What would I have to do?" Nate asked tentatively. Carter smiled.

"A little inside information on Serena. What she likes, what she doesn't." Carter said.

"Man, how do you not know? How many years have you known her?" Nate asked unsure what information he was being asked to share.

"I know her but there are some things that I still need to learn." Carter replied. "I want to make her happy. I want to try and make this thing between us work." Nate was surprised Carter actually seemed genuine, for once. "So, do we have a deal?" Carter extended his hand and Nate hesitated slightly before shaking it.

"Meet me tomorrow at Bergdorf's. I want to get her something perfect." Carter said and moved to leave. Nate took a long drink from his beer and wondered what could possibly have made the infamous Carter Baizen suddenly develop feelings. He was sure it had something to do with the charm of Serena van der Woodsen.


	2. The Mistake

Nate was drunk, very drunk. Whiskey sour number six was only half gone on the coffee table in front of him and he found himself mesmerized by the ice melting in his glass. It made him think of life how things seemed so solid but then they started to change and liquefy.

_That's fuckin' deep_. He thought lying back on the couch. _Fucking ice cubes are deep, like the ocean they come from. Wow I was drinking the ocean._ He smiled at the idea of drinking the ocean. It made him think of the beach; which made him think of Serena in her blue bikini laughing as he splashed her.

A smile spread slowly across his face the memory. That had been his favorite summer. It had been spent in The Hamptons with Serena, Chuck, and Blair. Puberty had struck and he'd noticed the way Serena's legs were long and toned now. Her boobs, her…

Then there she was in his doorway. Her long hair still in a messy updo. She was wearing the dress Nate had helped Carter pick out this afternoon. It was pink and clung to her curves perfectly. The white gold heart pendent at her neck was another one of his choices. She was beautiful.

"How'd you get in here?" He asked her sitting up straight to take her in. He drank her in like the first day of sun after three days of rain. Her long, toned legs to her slim waist and her ample breasts. She was smiling softly and her eyes were dancing. He admired her golden hair pinned up but still messy. She was just so Serena, looking like she just woke up looking that gorgeous.

"Key under the mat very original." She teased softly moving to join him on the couch. "I hadn't seen your new apartment yet. It's nice." She looked a little nervous, playing with her hands and looking around.

"Welcome to my palace." He told her leaning closer and breathing her in. She smelled like champagne and strawberries. "Where's Carter?" He sat up and slid closer to her making his head spin. He didn't know if it was the alcohol or her.

"He's determined to make his father trust him so he's off on some errand for him." She replied. "We were supposed to go to dinner and then go dancing but he had to bail." She looked dejected.

"His loss, my gain." Nate said smiling at her. He laughed because he sounded like Chuck all of sudden. Voice low and suave. She laughed with him her whole face lighting up and her eyes sparkling.

"Why are you sitting all alone? What happened to Bree?" She asked.

Nate shrugged. "You know, the same old story." She nodded understanding. Nate Archibald's romances never lasted.

"I missed you this summer." She said. "I wish we would have ran into each other in Europe." He didn't hear a word she said he was too busy watching her lips. They looked so soft and kissable.

"Hmm…Oh yeah Europe. Hey I saw those tabloid pictures; someone had a good time." He smiled at her teasing. She blushed a little a looked away.

"Yeah you know those people they're ruthless." She was avoiding his eyes and looked upset.

"Hey, Serena." He took her hand gently and she turned back to him. His hand went to her hair and he softly pulled it out of its updo. It fell down around her shoulders like a golden waterfall. "You're so beautiful." He whispered leaning closer to her.

"Nate." She said a little breathless. "What are you…" That was as far as she got before he was kissing her. He smashed his mouth against hers. She tasted like heaven. His hands were in her hair pulling her close, he wanted to devour her.

In his mind images of her legs wrapped around his waist in an abandoned bar flashed by. His hands moved down to her thighs and sliding upwards and taking her dress with them. She moaned softly against his mouth her hands under his t-shirt tracing his stomach muscles.

As fast as it began she was standing a look of shock on her face. "I have to go." She said quickly grabbing her purse and moving for the door.

"Serena!" He called after her. "Wait, I'm sorry." But she was already gone. He fell back against the cushions. _Shit_.

The next morning he woke up with a raging headache. He started to mix the Chuck Bass Special, the hangover cure all. His phone was beeping uncontrollably and he went to check it. Four new messages.

_From: Carter. Dinner Thursday at the Club. Your grandfather will be there. I've smoothed the way. _

_From: Chuck. Way to go man! Just don't fuck with her she is my sister._

Nate rolled his eyes. Obviously Serena had gone to Blair who apparently couldn't keep her big mouth shut.

_From: Serena. Last night was weird. Maybe we shouldn't see each other for awhile. I'm with Carter, we're happy. _

_From: Carter. Serena's acting distant should I give her space or get her to talk to me. _

Nate took a sip of the disgusting concoction. He decided to answer Chuck first.

_To: Chuck. I was drunk it was a mistake. _

_To: Serena. I'm sorry I know you're with Carter and you're happy. I'm sorry. _

_To: Carter. Give her space._

It was true it had been a mistake. Kissing her had been a mistake. He was just drunk and lonely. He was over her, completely over her. He had just been reminiscing about old memories and gotten caught up in the moment. That was it a momentary lapse.

His phone beeped again and he looked down.

_From Chuck: You're an idiot._


	3. The Threat

Nate had a date. A hot date no less, a girl from his Philosophy class at Columbia. She was blond with blue eyes and big boobs. It was time to get back in the saddle. Being alone was completely overrated.

He straightened his collar and admired himself in the mirror. _Pretty hot._ He thought to himself. He checked his watch and went to grab his keys. Sure he'd told his grandfather that he was giving the Ferrari back but then he figured that keeping it for a couple weeks couldn't hurt. Besides if they didn't want to speak to him how could his family ask for it back?

"Nice car." His date, Serenity, said when he picked her up. "What is it like a Rolls Royce or something?" Nate tried not to roll his eyes at her.

"It's a Ferrari actually. My grandfather gave it to me, perhaps you've heard of him. William Vanderbilt." Nate usually didn't name drop but he was in the mood to impress.

"My dad does business with him." She said. "He's thinks very highly of him." She slid into the passenger seat of the car, giving him a preview of what was under her skirt in the process. Nate winked at her.

Three hours later Nate was trying to remember why he had asked Serenity out in the first place. Sure she was nice to look at but there was a lot missing upstairs. She'd spent the first hour talking about her new dog. A Teacup Poodle named Sylvester. Apparently after Sylvester Stallone, who was her favorite hairdresser. Nate was bored.

"Oh! Hello, it's my favorite magazine. Just a second I have to see what's happening in the world." Serenity said grabbing the magazine and leafing through it. "It's so important to be up on the issues of the world today." She told Nate matter-of-factually. He nodded.

"Good grief why doesn't she just hire a photographer to follow her everywhere? She's all over now what's so great about her." Serenity wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Ugh Serena van der Woodsen, so over rated." Nate's head shot up at the mention of _her _name.

"What does it say about her?" Nate asked trying to be non-chalent. "She was out at some club opening with Shia LaBeouf last night. Look, what an attention whore." Nate practically grabbed the magazine out of the girl's hands.

His heart practically stopped at the sight of Serena's smiling face as she danced with what's his face from Transformers. The picture barely did her justice.

"Hey, Nate!" Serenity was getting impatient. "We're on a date not you and some over photographed debutard. Ugh, she's not even pretty."

"She's gorgeous and she's fun and she's wonderful." Nate snapped. "Tell you what why don't you catch a cab." He handed her a 20 dollar bill. "I just don't think it's going to work out between us." He turned to walk away.

"Yeah well." She stopped as she tried to think of a retort but by then Nate was out of earshot.

"Archibald." Carter said emerging from the Club's bar area. "I was hoping to meet you here." Nate barely acknowledged him.

"Carter what can I do for you? Serena's favorite color? Which kind of underwear she prefers? Her turn ons perhaps?" Nate sipped his whiskey sour and turned to face the older boy. Carter's face was arranged in a scowl.

"I have no problem turning on my girlfriend and as for her underwear…well let's just say that she rarely worries about losing it." Carter smirked knowing he had hit a button. Nate tried to ignore the images of Carter and Serena invading his mind. "Actually I wanted to give you a little friendly advice. Man to man."

"Oh and what could you possible have to advise me on?" Nate shot back. "Manipulation? Lying? Cheating? Stealing? Shaming your family?"

"Funny last I checked my family had welcomed me back with open arms and yours was still ignoring your calls." Carter retorted moving closer to Nate. "My advice is that you keep your hands to yourself when it comes to Serena." Their faces were inches apart and Nate was not about to back down from Carter Baizen.

"Serena's a big girl she can make her own decisions." Nate countered.

"True. I'm not choosing for her just offering some friendly advice. Besides I spent last night with her I'm not worried." Carter moved away towards the exit.

"If you're not worried then why are you threatening me?" Nate challenged.

"Because there's nothing wrong with a little insurance." Carter shot back. "We had a deal Archibald and I can always do the opposite. Tell grandfather Vanderbilt about the gambling and partying. That might not go over so well. Or I could tell Serena that you made a deal with me."

"Won't that make her mad her you?" Nate asked.

"No, I'll tell her that I was simply nervous about making her happy but you demanded that I do you a favor in return. I simply wanted some friendly advice." Carter smirked. "Have a good night Archibald. I'm going to go see my girlfriend. I hear that Rufus is treating Lily, Eric, and Jenny to a night out at the theatre. So we'll be all alone." With that Carter left and Nate had to take a deep breath to keep from smashing his drink glass in his fist.


	4. The Confrontation

"Nate." Serena breathed lightly against his cheek. "Take me." She was lying against the pillows on his bed, her golden hair fanned out around her head like a halo. She was wearing a tight red corset and a golden necklace around her neck.

His sword clanged against his leg as he leaned down to kiss her. "My lady." He softly whispered as he kissed her. From far away the refrain of 'Run This Town' by: Jay-Z began to play.

"Why Sir Nate whatever is that?" Serena asked him puzzled.

"Oh ignore it my sweet it is nothing." Nate replied removing his sword and moving to take her in his arms.

The song got louder and Nate sat blot upright in bed. _That was kind of messed up_ he thought as he answered the phone.

"Chuck it's eleven in the morning. What the hell is so important you had to wake me up this early on a Saturday?"

"Nathaniel. Meet me for lunch." Chuck said not even bothering with small talk or asking. "Our usual place at noon." With that he hung up and Nate threw his phone at the floor.

Sometimes he really felt like people thought they could just order him around, like he couldn't think for himself. Chuck tells him they're going to lunch. Carter threatens him. Serena says they shouldn't talk anymore. The damn Vanderbilts expect him to follow whatever plan they have for him. Nate was fucking sick of it. He was done being everyone's puppet. Nate Archibald was going to do whatever the hell he wanted from now on.

Presently, he wanted to run so he dug his Dartmouth sweatshirt and Adidas pants out of the laundry basket and grabbed his ipod on the way out the door.

As he ran Nate contemplated his life or, as he saw it, the life everyone else had told him how to live. Blair had demanded he ask her out so he had. Thus began their attempt at the perfect couple, a failure. Then Vanessa had forced him to try and be something besides the Golden Boy, it was intriguing so he went with it. Another failure. The Duchess or Countess or whatever the fuck she was, the Cougar, had wanted a kept boy toy and thus he'd practically become a gigiolo. Followed by repeat failures and a tiny Jenny Humphrey fling. He gnashed his teeth at the thought of Bree Buckley, big mistake that had been, but at least he had gotten under his family's skin.

Nate felt the rhythm of his feet hitting the pavement as he wondered why he always seemed to be moving from girl to girl at lightening speed. Revisiting past relationships that should have ended a long time ago, as if they had missed something the first time around. What had made him so unsatisfied?

The answer hit him like a ton of bricks.

None of those girls had ever been the one he was searching for. None of them had ever been the one he truly wanted. The girl had head fallen head over heels in love with at the tender age of five.

The biggest problem in every single relationship he had ever had was that not one of them was or could ever measure up to Serena van der Woodsen.

Nate stopped running because his head was spinning. He'd thought that it was over between them. They'd had their one night together (a supposed mistake) and then she had disappeared only to reappear a totally different person. He'd moved on, several times, but once again here he was dealing with feelings he'd thought were long gone. But what should he do about it?

Chuck would tell him to tap that ass. Blair would tell him to buy Serena a gift and profess his undying love with a poem. His grandfather would tell him to marry her because he mother was Lily Bass (nee Rhodes, now Humphrey). Carter would probably hire a hit man to kill if he even went near Serena. Nate took off running in the opposite direction of his apartment. It was time to visit the Waldorf penthouse.

Dorota let him in and told him Serena was staying in the guest room. No one else was home. Apparently Carter's enemies had caught up with him and he was cut off again so he had gone begging to collect on some old unpaid debts. Nate couldn't help but smile; sometimes karma showed up just when you least expected it.

He knocked softly on the door and Serena let him in. She was still wearing her nightgown and Nate couldn't help but admire how the color matched her eyes and its short length accentuated her long, toned legs.

"Nate, what are you doing here?" Serena asked slightly annoyed. "I thought we agreed that we shouldn't see each other for awhile."

"I never agreed to that." He replied his mind racing at how close she was. "And I don't think what happened between us was a mistake."

"Nate." Serena started but he interrupted her quickly.

"No, listen to me. We've spent so much time running from our feelings because of Blair, Vanessa, Dan, Carter, Bree, whoever. When are we going to stop running and just admit how we really feel?" He asked moving closer to her. Serena moved backwards until her back hit the wall and she was pinned by his body.

"You're my friend Nate. One of my best friends that's it." She said trying desperately to find something to say her mouth was going dry at his nearness. He smelled like sweat and crisp fall air and Nate. "It was just a kiss, that never should have happened."

"Serena, we both know that's a lie." Nate replied and his hands found their way to her waist. "We always have an excuse about why we can't be together. When are there be no excuses left? When we've exhausted all our other options? When can we finally have our happily ever after?"

"Nate I'm with Carter." His mouth was only inches from hers and Serena held her breath.

"Frankly my dear I don't give a shit." And with that he kissed her, pressing the full length of his body against hers.


End file.
